


Kylo Ren Is Back

by MunchkinPumpkin



Series: The Best Father In All The Galaxies [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Breastfeeding, Implied Mpreg, Kid Fic, M/M, Post Mpreg, domestic kylo, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 13:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13614636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MunchkinPumpkin/pseuds/MunchkinPumpkin
Summary: 4 weeks after the birth of his daughter, Kylo is back to work.Includes domestic Kylo, a surprise hug and a scary discovery.





	Kylo Ren Is Back

Four weeks had passed since Damerine was born, it had taken a long time for Kylo to recover enough to go back to his usual duties. After Damerine was born and the ‘visitors’ had left he was whisked to the infirmary where there they have him and the newborn a physical examination – both were passed with a clean bill of health. Kylo had been shocked when the medics told him that Damerine weighed a healthy 6lbs and 7 ounces. He'd been carrying her around for the last nine months and honestly presumed he was giving birth to a 10lb baby. Regardless, the medics were astounded by the ease of her birth, that Kylo hadn’t torn the skin from the canal to his anus or at least suffered from some form of abnormal haemorrhaging - as they prepared for. The complicated nature of the pregnancy made the prospect of giving birth dangerous, but that simply hadn't been the case.

After registering the birth, Kylo took Damerine back to his chambers to rest. For days he received help from selected staff whilst he recovered and moved away from the after-birth bleeding and painful cramping. Already, his stomach began to shrink as his organs shifted back to their normal positions – much to his favour – he was beginning to feel like himself again. Although he knew that his body would most likely be forever different.

Damerine had gone from the silent angel e gave birth to, to a complete monster; crying, screaming and spewing from every orifice. Kylo was overwhelmed, to say the least. The third night alone was the worst, Damerine wouldn’t stop crying despite his numerous attempts to please her, Kylo simply didn’t understand what she wanted.   He fed her, cleaned her, rocked her and even attempted to recite a lullaby he overheard Phasma singing – all were wasted efforts. Running on very little sleep, Kylo broke down, crying over his apparent failure as a father. The only person he trusted to see him so vulnerable was Phasma, who gladly came to his rescue in the early hours of the morning. Aunt Phasma had the magic touch, something he feared he’d never acquire. Upon waking up the next morning, he felt utterly humiliated, the _Infamous Kylo Ren_ brought to a blubbering mess. 

There was one thing he was sure of, that despite the late nights, midnight feedings, early mornings; the screaming, crying and vomiting – lest he forget that very first poo, tar-like and black – he was in love with his daughter.

Today, four weeks on, he was ready to return to work. He had exhaustively found the perfect nanny to take care of Damerine during the day, occasionally bringing her up for feeding, until he returned later that night. He didn’t want to leave Damerine, but he had to return from his post before Hux stole it from under his feet.

4: 45 AM

Damerine was screaming, she hadn’t been able to sleep through the night yet but that didn’t matter, Kylo was up and ready to comfort her, as if by instinct. “What’s the matter baby girl?” Kylo stood dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, rocking Damerine gently, softly planting kisses on her forehead, “did you just miss me?” Kylo shushed his daughter but still, she continued to cry.

He lifted her gently, smelling her rear-end for the obvious stench to find nothing. She had only been fed two hours ago and ate quite a stomach full, so she must not have been hungry. It seemed that she was ultimately just being fussy. Either way, he was wide awake now. He wrapped Damerine in her sling so she was now clinging to his chest, being comforted by his heart’s syncopated rhythm and body heat. Kylo put on a pair of shoes and a jacket and left to take a stroll around the base. Damerine usually drifted off when they took long walks. Kylo was grateful that the Supreme Leader let him relocate to the furthest part of the base, at times like these the majority of the crewmen were fast asleep and they were isolated enough that he didn’t have to worry about waking anybody up. The seclusion gave him greater freedom without having to worry about his image.

“Will you be okay without me today?” Kylo whispered, “you have to be a good girl, no crying. As a future member of the Knights of Ren, you have to be brave.” He said sternly. In all honesty, he also felt quite emotional. He hadn’t been apart from his daughter in weeks and didn’t want to think about handing her over to a stranger he barely knew. The more he thought about it, the more he really couldn’t do it. It was unthinkable to part whilst she was so young and so reliant on him. He wasn’t going to be like his own parents, with a father that abandoned him and a mother too concerned with her loyalties to the Resistance to spend undetached quality time with her son.

Kylo returned to his quarters half an hour later, Damerine was not asleep but was no longer fussy so Kylo decided it was due time to take a nice warm wash. His quarters didn’t have a bathtub or even a sink big enough to wash Damerine in so his only option was to shower with her under a low-pressure hose. Afterall, the Starkiller base wasn’t designed with children in mind.

Kylo held Damerine in one arm and tested the water, once warm enough he edged parts of her body under the stream and used his free hand to rub the water into her nooks-and-crannies. Kylo also submerged himself, wetting his hair and body. The warm water was admittedly soothing for his sore nipples. Using a sensitive soap he cleaned Damerine’s mop of brown hair and her body. Damerine seemed to love bathtime, wriggling merrily, making cheery noises. Kylo couldn’t wait for his daughter to start smiling, it seemed like she was really close to reaching the milestone already. He anticipated the corners of her mouth to rise happily every time he played with her and made funny faces but she never seemed to manage. Regardless, Kylo valued this one-to-one skinship with his daughter. It reminded him of her birth, when Hux placed Damerine on him, covered in mucus. It made him gush every time.

When Damerine was all clean, he wrapped her in a towel and dried her off. Rubbing her hair dry making it stand on-end amusingly, which always brought a smile to his face. He powdered and creamed Damerine and clipped on her cloth nappy, ensuring that the pins were in properly. Such a kill was difficult to master in the beginning which resulted in a few accidental moments that he’d rather not relive.

Time passed by and Damerine was due a feeding, Kylo always knew when she was hungry because she’d perch her lips whilst explicitly crying. Kylo didn’t regret his decision to breastfeed, the medical staff at the med-bay told him it was the best way to feed the baby, rather than from a bottle. Ultimately it was his decision to make and he definitely made the best choice. The first few times was a struggle because Damerine wouldn’t latch on as the size of his ‘breasts’ were incredibly small. As soon as she did, she would drink him dry. Yet, because of the small capacity his breast tissue could hold, she was hungry more often which meant that she was almost constantly attached to his chest, making his nipples sore. Feeding also often involved Damerine scratching the skin on his chest with her tiny, sharp, claw-like nails, but Kylo didn’t mind.

The bond between them was only strengthened by his choice to breastfeed. At first, I was particularly difficult to bond with his daughter, after all, he hadn’t given much to the baby in-utero fearing it more of a parasite than his flesh and blood. When Damerine refused to suckle, Kylo only really became frustrated and drifted further away from Damerine. Then, as if she could read his inner thoughts, she began to feed. Since then, Kylo relished in the attention. Watching his daughter feed blissfully only reminded him of how much she really was an angel.

Damerine drank solidly for fifteen minutes, Kylo could only imagine how big she would get from eating so frequently. He threw her over his shoulder where he winded her over a thick towel, wary of the projectile nature of newborns. Although, that often did very little in shielding the impact. Damerine would spit up in his hair or it would trickle down the cloth and absorb into his clothes. He frequently smelt of milk and almost all of his clothes were ruined by vomit stains.

Before long there was a knock at the door, the nanny had arrived, Kylo hadn’t called ahead because he knew that he was likely to change his mind and stop being such a ‘doting’ father. “Hello, good morning.” He greeted the woman.

“Up nice and early I see?” she took notice that the two were already dressed and ready for the day, although it had taken Kylo longer to get dressed that he’d hoped. Leaving little time to do some spot-cleaning. This was simply because Kylo struggled to find anything that fit him. His old uniform was far too small, what with the tummy and weight gain, and his new tailored uniform was miles too big. He had been frustrated and emotional but he had to remember that his explosive tendencies were not okay around Damerine. He never wanted her to be afraid of him like his subordinates, he wanted his daughter to idolise him as a warrior, once she became old enough to understand his mission.

“I regret to inform you that your services will not be necessary today. I am not ready to return to work just yet.” Kylo still had plans to ease himself back into ranks, attending the morning staff meeting and listening to Hux’s speech on the front steps was a first step in getting back into the loop. He knew he could manage at least those simple things with Damerine strapped to his chest.

“Don’t you worry, the base is running smoothly without you, take as much time as you need. There is no rush, it is important to spend as much time as you need, Commander.” Kylo was taken back by the formalities, he hadn’t been treated with this level of respect for weeks. Not even the medical staff referred to his position, in fact, they would quite frequently yell at him for not listening to their advice. It would no doubt take quite some time to get used to.

“I can ensure that you will be paid the full day,” Kylo promised.

“Just give me a call if you change your mind or if you need anything.” She bowed her head before making an exit. He did feel rather guilty for wasting her time but in the end, he was glad that she had been so understanding.

Kylo picked up the small bag he had packed, which he left by the door. Inside it had clean clothes, nappies and soft toys, all things he would no doubt need for the day ahead, “Let's go shall we?” kylo took a deep breath before shutting the door behind himself. It would be a slow but easy day today with most of the attention from members of staff, all fussing over Damerine, seeing as she hadn’t faced the public yet. Even still he carried his lightsaber just for good measure.

It took significantly longer than expected to reach the usual meeting room in the north quadroon. Luckily though, Damerine had fallen asleep on the way over which meant that she’d hopefully be quiet through the meeting.

“Master Ren. It has been a long time!” The Admiral cheered from across the room. “I didn’t expect to see you up and about so soon.”

“And with Damerine, I see?” General Hux stood to greet Kylo as he made his way to his seat. “How have you two been?” He asked. He honestly felt rather insulted that Kylo hadn't kept him informed, seeing as he helped Kylo deliver the baby, getting personal inelegantly quickly, with a lot more of the Knight of Ren than he ever thought.

“Very well.” Kylo avoided eye contact with the General. To be frank, he felt embarrassed being in his presence. Whilst he was eternally grateful that Hux didn't up and leave like he originally wanted to, it was almost like Hux was looking at him differently, which made him bashful.

“If you don't mind me saying, Master Ren- “

“When have you ever minded, Cardinal? All matter that comes from your mouth is unsolicited.”

“I suppose you've got a point, but I just wanted to say, I'm surprised at how small she is given how large you had gotten.” The Cardinal burst into uncontainable laughter, the rest of the room remained eerily silent. It was obvious that the Cardinal had overstepped his bounds. Tension fell as the members of staff waited for Kylo to flip out in some way.

“That is entirely inappropriate!” Phasma smashed her fist against the table, the echoing 'bang' shocked the Cardinal into a dumbfounded stutter.

“I'd like a status report.” Kylo shrugged off the Cardinal's vulgarity, changing the direction of the conversation.

“It seems that Sprog has made you soft. The Kylo Ren I knew would have reached over the table-” The Admiral chuckled. He'd promised himself that there would be no violent outbursts and vengeful use of the force when Damerine was in such close proximity. So he calmly collected his anger, taking a deep breath.

“I dare you to refer to my daughter with that name one more time, it'll be your head.” The pet name only filled him with the unpleasant nostalgia of his own childhood. Not only that but 'sprog' was a commoner word, something beneath the glory he held his daughter with.

“Right...I apologise.” Both the Admiral and Cardinal shrunk into their seats. Kylo's wrath was legendary enough to still be afraid of the slight rise of his voice, ultimately scaring them without even lifting a finger.

“I do believe I asked for a status report. It appears that it's become common practice to make executive decisions without my input.” He was entirely bitter about the other officials neglecting his authority and refraining from keeping information relayed. 

“That was my doing, I asked that all decisions be delegated to General Hux and myself. It was in your best interest. So you could fully appreciate the time with your daughter and make a full recovery.” Kylo had a difficult time holding Phasma to any negative will. Her motherly tendencies were what he admired about her and he had no doubt she would have made well-executed decisions on his behalf.

“Ah.” He replied, mute.

“Not much has happened without you here, odd...isn't it?” General Hux teased. “We still haven't had word from the Rebels, or found out the cause of their retreat; it seems they have gone into hiding once again.” General Hux gazed over towards Kylo, who wasn't paying him very much attention, his focus fixed on the infant. Hux had his suspicions, that the Rebels would suddenly dissipate an attack as Kylo would go into labour.

“Was the Supreme Leader angry?” If he was, it was sure unlike their ruthless leader to remain quiet on the matter, even if it would have meant fetching for Kylo hours after Damerine's birth.

“With me, yes. Although, he saw the retreat favourably.” Hux had taken the blame for the entire situation. Knowing that the Supreme Leader wasn't going to do much more than yell at him for his wrongdoings. It was admittedly his fault for succumbing to Kylo's pleas, abandoning his post and delegating the fate of the First Order to Captain Phasma. Whilst all of the above was true, he wouldn't have done anything any differently. Kylo was the most annoying and aggravating person he'd ever met but there was no way, in good conscience he could have left him. “I do employ that you speak with him.”

“After your speech. It is important that the fleet know that I have returned.”

“An excellent idea. Perhaps you could say a few words.” Simply to boost morale after the attack. A show of unity and normality would surely give the Stormtroopers and other members of the First Order a great deal of reassurance.

“I wouldn't mind.” Kylo didn't see much point in doing so. After all, he knew the Stormtroopers and the other generals hated him, it was Hux they all admired. During the weeks if his absence, in the secluded region of the base, he'd heard the relieved complaints of the officers. Many of whom would rant about his foul temper and blind obedience to the Supreme Leader - “like a dog” was thrown around quite often. In fact, Kylo found it rather amusing, none of these lowly and dispensable workers would ever say anything about his conduct directly to him.

“Whilst we're on the subject, we have some new recruits joining under Phasma's command, to make up for the loss suffered. We believe that we've come up with a better conditioning program, to prevent dissent.” Hux hinted to Kylo. FN218's dissent from the regiment was a tightly kept secret among the officials. Should word ever reach the fleet, they could be sure that more will follow suit.

“Should the methods prove to be any better we will implement an order for every soldier to go through re-conditioning,” Phasma said proudly.

“Good. It would be impossible to implement the same cloning techniques adopted by the Empire.” Kylo stated. In such a short amount of time, the First Order could never create so many clones not that they would want to anyway. The individual differences in skill and ability among members of the fleet were an essential part of making sure the army was adapted and better than before those ruled by the Sith.

“Quite right.” The table agreed.

The meeting had been quite brief, Kylo hadn't missed quite so much as he expected. As much as he hated to admit it, the First Order was running perfectly smooth without his assistance. He didn't dwell on things for too long, the others were capable individuals who could retain control, even without having force strength.

Kylo walked back to his room and put on his official garbs, including his dresscoat and cape. The only thing missing was his helmet - something he hasn't worn for months. He found that alongside the swelling in his hands and feet, his face also became puffier which made wearing his helmet uncomfortable and at some points, painful. He tried it on for size in the mirror, it wasn't tight and the filter didn't press into his nose like before. Although, he'd forgotten what it looked like to be the Mighty Kylo Ren again. Weeks of lounging around in next to nothing, and dressing down in his later stages of pregnancy had made the full 'get-up' quite alien.

Damerine didn't like the helmet, that much became obvious when Kylo picked her up from the cot. The blood-curdling screams erupted from the infant's mouth. She was obviously confused and frightened by her father's new look.

“I'm sorry.” Kylo took the helmet off, “see, it's just me.” He chucked the helmet away. Whenever tears fell and her bottom lip began to quiver it made him feel incredibly guilty. He wasn't quite sure what to do, he couldn't bear to let his daughter cry, but his helmet was a sigil of his allegiance to the Knights of Ren. “It's gone now, you can stop crying. Please.” He begged, not that infants were in the business of bargaining.

He took the helmet with him to watch the speech, instead of putting it on, he held it under his arm. He wouldn't want Damerine to see him wearing it, she was the last person he wanted to be fearful of him.

The high ranking officers, himself included, all stood on the podium that oversaw the yard, watching the Stormtroopers arrive in an orderly fashion forming bands in their appropriate squads. As far as the eye could see, white helmets filled the entirety of the yard. This morning was entirely different to last week, instead of the conditioned silence, chatter swept along the ranks. Everybody turned to their neighbour to whisper and gossip.

Kylo Ren is back.

For the first time, he could ever remember, Hux had to yell for the muttering to cease. “Everybody, please!” He repeated himself, going slightly red in the face. Sure enough, the noise stopped, and the Stormtroopers straightened themselves out. Hux turned to Kylo and glared, for he had been the hot gossip.  “First we shall hear some words from Commander Ten.” Kylo stepped forward in front of the microphone.

“I am back and stronger than before. If there's one thing that giving birth and raising an infant has taught me, it's resilience. There will be many losses to overcome before the First Order has command of the entire galaxy, so we need to be resilient. Persistent. We will destroy the Resistance!” His words were followed by a swooping round of applause. Kylo was rather impressed with himself, pulling words together from his mind's abyss. He stuck by the things he said, resilience and strong will had kept him going for the last 10 month's, in times he wanted to give up and admit defeat but resilience kept him going.

“Thank you, Commander Ren.” Hux took back the helms, “day-by-day the Resistance is picked apart, fewer remain today than yesterday. Soon we will have another opportunity to come face-to-face with the Rebel scum and mark my words, we shall be ready! That day will be the end of the Resistance.” The Stormtroopers saluted Hux, raising their hands high and proud.

The generals all made their way back inside after the speech, “The Supreme Leader would like a word, Ren.” Hux informed Kylo. Kylo walked passed, without a word. “Ren!” Hux called after Kylo.

“What is it?” Kylo asked bluntly.

“Why are you being so abrasive?” Hux enquired. He wasn't planning on bringing this up but something about Kylo not even appreciating his being just a moment ago had made him agitated.

“Am I? I suppose you would like an apology?”

“I would like to know why you're being this way, and only to me. I am your superior.” Ever since Snoke had sidelined Kylo after losing Rey, Hux had been given the position of highest ranking officer and Kylo resented him for it. “After all, I've done for you.” Kylo averted his eyes. “It's because of that, isn't it?” Hux deduced.

“Thank you for helping me. It's difficult for me to treat you the same...you saw me at my most vulnerable and exposed.” Kylo admitted, “something nobody else has seen. I don't want this to affect the work we do.” Kylo couldn't even look at Hux without remembering the details of that night; where Hux had his hands, how much of his body Hux saw, how many tears whimpers he shed.

“I still hate you, Ren. You're the very bain of my existence, that will never differ. As for everything else, I wouldn't flatter yourself.” Hux cocked a brow sarcastically. He held it a personal achievement, making Kylo Ren laugh.

“Ass-hat.” He smiled, “I'm sorry it took me this long to thank you.” He held out a hand, a clear sign of a truce between the two of them. Hux grasped it firmly before bringing Kylo in for an unexpected hug. Kylo froze, stupefied. Hux gave him a few solid pats on the back before breaking away.

“Mnn, well...” He coughed, “congratulations.” Hux moved on swiftly. Not entirely sure what had come over him, but feeling rather embarrassed.

Kylo made his way to the Supreme Leader's quarters, fearing exactly what might face him on the other side of the door. He gazed down at Damerine who seemed to be sleeping soundly and took a deep breath before knocking loudly at the door.

“Enter!” Came an echoing voice. Kylo pushed open the door and strode in with a fake sense of confidence. “Kylo Ren, I was wondering when you would be coming to visit me.” Kylo stood half-way in the room, not daring to come any closer.

“You wanted to see me, Supreme Leader.” Kylo bowed his head.

“I see you weren't able to part with the infant, even after exhausting our resources finding a suitable nanny.” Kylo knew that he had been weak-willed and now felt ashamed, “No matter. Bring her to me.” Snoke demanded. A growing fear burned in the bottom of his stomach as he approached. Snoke got up from his throne and reduced in size, making himself no taller than the average Wookie.

“A strong resemblance. Such great power lives within this one. From the moment she broke free, I could feel the disturbance in the force. A great disturbance indeed.” Kylo's head whipped up, eyes blasted with surprise. “Couldn't you feel it?” Kylo had spent his entire pregnancy trying to ignore the baby within him, he was also constantly in the dark about how he was supposed to feel, perhaps he had been able to feel the force within him but limited it to just another symptom of the pregnancy. Damerine's birth had been too painful to notice any shifts in the force.

“I had no idea...” He muttered, slightly guilty and filled with self-loathing.

“You were born to a bloodline powerful with the force, even with a normal father, you remain one of the strongest in the galaxy. You have passed your gift on.” Kylo grew wary of the gleam in Snoke's eyes. It would appear as if the Supreme Leader already had plans for his daughter, even before she could walk. It put him on edge.

“If you don't mind, Supreme Leader, I really must return. Damerine will need to be fed.” The visit had been one far from comfort. Whilst Kylo wanted to believe that the Supreme Leader had good intentions, he found it hard to trust the hunger in his eyes.

“As you wish.” Snoke disappeared with a holographic fuzz. Kylo spared not another moment and left the chambers. The worst part about the whole situation was how Snoke would always be listening to his thoughts, he had to keep his mind clean and free from worry otherwise Snoke would aim to punish Kylo for his opposition.  



End file.
